Recovery: It's a God Thing
Tuesday January 24, 2017
by Teresa McBean
Scripture reading for today: Haggai and Psalm 98
I’m currently reading a book that challenges everything I believe. My son is reading a book written by a famous agnostic philosopher, and the author is also sharing a perspective wildly different from what we usually read around our house. (My son is reading this book because of a lyric in a song; go figure.) No doubt you’re tempted to suggest that my son and I stop reading books written by heathens. But the book I’m reading was written by a world renowned theologian! We’re going to have to come up with a different strategy if we want to go through life without our preciously held beliefs being challenged. Books are not the only way our beliefs get challenged. When we decide to get serious about recovery, honesty has to become a treasured value. So let’s get honest. Sometimes we question our belief in God.
Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn’t you see the violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn’t you care? There are times in recovery when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about God. It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about God and about God’s involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God’s love. We need God’s help. It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own. 
Step one is the perfect place to admit that we don’t have all the answers. It’s the perfect time to tell ourselves the truth; we may not like all the answers that time reveals. That’s pretty powerless, isn’t it? How does that make you feel? But find comfort in this word of encouragement: God is much bigger than our feelings about Him.
How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Habakkuk 1:1-3 NIV