Recovery: It's a God Thing
Friday September 04, 2015
by Teresa McBean
Scripture Reading for today: 1 Kings 6 and 7; Ezekiel 2
In yesterday’s devotional I discussed an amends attempt that got messy. So let’s take a few days and break down the process of amends. Perhaps we can keep from making our own messy amends and causing a bad situation to get worse. The best amends is face to face. Sometimes a letter or a phone call is the next best thing. Ask God to give you the discernment necessary to decide how to approach the person you have harmed. However you choose to initiate an amends, please think about the other person’s perspective. This isn’t about you.
Tip: Don’t startle them. In yesterday’s example of amends gone wrong, I was startled. My friend came up to me in a very public setting and told me about something he had done to harm me, which took me completely by surprise. I had no knowledge of this offense. People were standing around while he spilled his guts. It was embarrassing.
I would have preferred for my friend to come up to me and say, “Teresa, I realize you don’t know this, but I need to make an amends to you. When would it be convenient for us to meet and talk about this?” At that moment I could have chosen to ask questions, schedule an appointment, or suggest that we chat further in a more private setting simply to provide me with more information.
I actually tried to interrupt my friend’s “spewing,” but he would have none of that. He wanted this off his chest before he left to go on vacation. That violates a second point of amicable amends-making: accommodate the offended. Make it as easy as possible for them to hear your amends. Choose a place that is convenient for them, comfortable for them, and considerate of them. Even how we approach the process can be the beginning of restitution.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
Making amends is hard on both the offender and the offended. Let’s make sure we do everything possible to increase the odds that the outcome of this experience will be positive for everyone.