by Dale & Juanita Ryan The God of the Bible is a God who saves and heals. The Bible is clear about this: "He will deliver the needy who cry out, he will rescue them from oppression and violence." (Psalm 72: 12 &14) When we see our need, acknowledge our inability to save ourselves, and cry out, God delivers us. God rescues us from oppression and violence. Whether it is the oppression and … [Read more...] about Asking for Help
Search Results for: shame
Finding the Freedom in Forgiveness
by Juanita R. Ryan We have all heard stories and seen movies about people who have spent years in prison, hoping and praying for release. Finally, they are paroled. They are set free. They walk outside the prison walls into wide open spaces. No more bars or guards. No one is watching and controlling their every move. But is freedom really what they expected? No. They step into freedom only … [Read more...] about Finding the Freedom in Forgiveness
Am I One of Them?
by Dale Wolery Preoccupation, distractibility and unmanageability are words any addict could use to describe some of the particularly baffling symptoms of the addictive process. All addicts pay attention to their drug of choice. And all addicts fail to pay attention to the things that really deserve attention. … [Read more...] about Am I One of Them?
Shame is sneaky
Everyone is quick to point out how much they hate being shamed but it rarely provides an automatic insight to help us not act as shamers. Shame is sneaky and shows up sporting a bunch of different looks. It can be kind of punky, aggressive and direct - attacks on others’ looks, character, ethnicity, etc. It can hide out in silence - when we fail to speak up against wrongdoing. It can really go … [Read more...] about Shame is sneaky
A Relational Model
The integrative model for recovery from abuse assumes that 'the problem' is primarily inside the abused person. Makes sense. This assumption underlies most therapeutic strategies for recovery from abuse. But suppose you started with the assumption that 'the problem' is not primarily inside anybody but rather 'between' people? Suppose the problem was most fundamentally a relational problem? You … [Read more...] about A Relational Model
What I Learned While Our Son Was Still Using Drugs
by Juanita Ryan Children are some of our best teachers. They teach us, experientially, to open our hearts. To give of ourselves. To seek wisdom. To set limits. To embrace. To let go. Children never stop teaching us. But as with most of life, the greatest lessons often seem to come during the toughest times. The year our oldest son dropped out of high school and became … [Read more...] about What I Learned While Our Son Was Still Using Drugs
Shame and Spiritual Abuse
Shame and Spiritual Abuse Last week I had a consulting gig at a church that had a recovery ministry blow up in grand fashion. Lack of leadership accountability, no small doses of codependency and maybe, perhaps, possibly a tiny bit of grandiose thinking and arrogance on the part of the church team that swooped in to clean up the debacle — all of this was stymying the work of restoration. And I … [Read more...] about Shame and Spiritual Abuse
When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 1
[iframe src="https://www.nacr.org/ru_video/jv_shame/3/3.htm" width="100%" height="320px"] Other videos in this series: Neediness: the Human Condition How Family Systems Become Dysfunctional When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 2 These presentations are part of a twelve part course available (in much higher video quality) on three DVD’s. The entire class can be purchased here. For … [Read more...] about When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 1
When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 2
[iframe src="https://www.nacr.org/ru_video/jv_shame/4/4.htm" width="100%" height="320px"] Other videos in this series: Neediness: the Human Condition How Family Systems Become Dysfunctional When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 1 These presentations are part of a twelve part course available (in much higher video quality) on three DVD’s. The entire class can be purchased here. For … [Read more...] about When Shame Is the Name of the Game – Part 2
Recovery from Childhood Trauma
by Juanita Ryan This article is available as a video series HERE I am a survivor of childhood trauma. I am also a therapist who works with men and women who are survivors of childhood trauma of all kinds. So what I will share in this article comes out of my personal recovery journey and is enriched by the stories of others who have allowed me the honor of sharing some part of their … [Read more...] about Recovery from Childhood Trauma