In any work recovery journey there will be moments when we feel like we must overcome our emotions and push forward. These are moments which require courage and they are a necessary part of the transformation process.
But we can mess this up terribly if we push aside our feelings simply because we are afraid they will lead us astray. Our feelings count. They aren’t the ONLY thing that counts, but to repress them, to suppress them or to try to deny them is futile and we can end up sick as a result.
Where do feelings come into play in our work? We start with recognizing and owning them. This allows us to start the journey of handling our feelings in ways that are healthy and appropriate.
In my family of origin, anxious people expressed both anxiety and fear as anger. This was the norm. I was a grown up with children of my own before I was able to recognize that what I had called rage and anger and frustration all my life were thin veils covering over a ton of anxiety and fear.
Much of our work, if we want to grow and change, will require us to come to grips with our own blindness to our true feelings. Recover will require us to learn how to develop healthy and appropriate emotions, and to deal responsibly with those emotions that are destructive to ourselves or to others.
Sometimes people in meetings talk about this as emotional sobriety. It is no small thing.
How have your own emotions hindered your relationships? Have other people ever given you feedback about yourself that startled you as it relates to your emotional expressiveness?
Dealing with our emotions may require a supportive team. Perhaps organizing such a team needs to be an item on our “to do” lists.