Scripture reading for today: Exodus 1 – 3
In yesterday’s devotion, I mentioned that my youngest child was reading a book in which the very premise is the antithesis of everything our family professes to believe. At first, he was scared to tell me that he had checked it out of the library. He was worried I would disapprove.
I did disapprove. I did not like it that my son hesitated for a moment about telling me that he was reading a book, even a book that challenged our beliefs! I explained to my boy that if reading a book could shake his faith, then all that proved is that his faith was pretty unsettled before he picked up that book. I assured him that if this is what we discovered, it was a good thing to learn at nineteen rather than at 40. I asked him to come to me if he had any questions or concerns about what he read. In the end, he ended up telling me example upon example about how this author had really missed the boat. It has been a really cool experience. But what if he had found things in the book that he had wanted to incorporate into his belief system? Would I have thought that was cool? I hope I would have had the maturity and trust in God to let my son have his own journey. Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t have to find out how mature I am.
In the book of Exodus, we’re going to read about the trials and tribulations of a big family system (You’re going to love it!). Families are messy things. Children raised in staunchly Republican families turn into Democrats. Hippies end up birthing Wall Street tycoons. This kind of wild family stuff started with Adam and Eve and is still happening in our families today. Lots of problems pop up in all families.
Here’s something else that happens in families. In healthy families, parents know that problems are normal and they work toward solving the problems. They acknowledge the discomfort they feel when their kid tells them they’re reading a book that claims that God is for the weak and not for real. In healthy families, parents have learned to deal with their own emotions and can therefore be available when their children are emotional. Healthy families adapt to the developmental needs of their children.
Nineteen is an appropriate age to explore one’s beliefs; (I wouldn’t offer my seven-year-old a book on hedonism.) Healthy families seek the truth.
Dysfunctional families see the world a little differently. Instead of being solution-centered, they’re into appearance management. Instead of nurturing their babies, parents want their children to meet their needs by performing well and not blowing the family’s cover. Guidance is missing in unhealthy families. Parents either overreact or under-respond–in a wildly chaotic fashion. Dysfunctional families teach shame.
What kind of family were you born into? No problem is ever solved by pretending it doesn’t exist. If you were raised in a toxic family, step one is a great place to acknowledge your powerlessness over your family of origin.
As God’s messenger I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves…Romans 12:3 NLB